Few experiences in this life make us feel as vulnerable and as helpless as a cancer diagnosis. Seemingly overnight, we find out that there is ‘something’ inside our bodies – our own ‘self’ – which is slowly killing us, and we cannot resolve it ourselves. Our sense of autonomy, independence, and control is shaken. Then, while a confrontation with our mortality is always traumatic, cancer draws it out. Day in and day out, we must sit with this knowledge and try to live as normal – and as ‘positive’ – a life as possible. Symptoms of anxiety, distress and depression are to be expected, yet we also must fight them as we know that we need to ‘be strong’ both for our health and for our loved ones. It is an undeniably challenging experience that one cannot truly understand (or even articulate) until faced with it.
However, for Kate Middleton and her family, the media frenzy that surrounded her diagnosis must have only compounded these feelings. The world’s obsession with her disappearance reached conspiratorial heights. It forced her to speak about something intensely private against a backdrop of immense criticism and invasion into her private life. One can only imagine how helpless this ‘double’ invasion made her feel, both from her cancer diagnosis and from the entire world. As such, the public’s obsession could have easily compounded her feelings of helplessness, vulnerability, and loss of control. In so doing, it would have increased her stress and anxiety levels at a time when hope, strength and a sense of autonomy were crucial.
Then, on top of it, a sense of connection and support is crucial during a cancer diagnosis. Studies even show that those of us with strong social ties have a greater chance of beating our cancer diagnosis than those who feel isolated from others. In our experience working with celebrities and ultra-high-net-worth clientele at Paracelsus Recovery, loneliness is a chronic issue for powerful and wealthy people. One of our most basic emotional needs is to feel understood and accepted by our peers. Yet, the more fame we acquire, the more isolated and misunderstood we can become. As such, the Princess of Wales may have already felt isolated, which would only be compounded by the fact that millions of people she’s never met were set on picking apart each and every area of her life as a mere distraction from their own.
Thus, the media frenzy compounded two of the most significant mental health risks of a cancer diagnosis: feelings of helplessness and alienation. At Paracelsus Recovery, we have treated several clients for trauma symptoms due to either overnight fame or being ‘cancelled’. In most cases, it can be an overwhelming experience that creates a rigid character split in the person’s psyche between their “famous self” and their “authentic self.” Splitting is a typical trauma response to feelings of overwhelming fear. As a result, the person often feels utterly different from moment to moment, which can be painful as they begin to lose trust in themselves. It sets the stage for numerous other mental health issues.
Finally, at Paracelsus Recovery, we have often stated that fame needs to come with a health warning. This painful moment in the Princess’s life is a poignant reminder of just how other-ed those in the public eye can become. In its simplest definition, this means that who you are is secondary to who people think you are. So, if nothing else, I encourage all of us to remember this moment when another famous person ‘disappears.’ When that happens, maybe we can approach it with the compassion and respect we owed the Princess.